See The Sparkle In The Rain

Again I find my thoughts running toward how a person looks at life. I know that humanity would be unbalanced without pessimists, but since we are a socialized and relatively (?) civilized species, I often wonder.

The phrase "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all" seems to be lacking. Snide remarks, sarcastic barbs.. they are such an accepted part of or day to day language. It's almost like a caustic liquid that continually eats away at the veneer that we learn to coat ourselves with when dealing with other people.

I'm far from being a saint, I struggle with a habit of making snap judgments. I express my road rage, not by tailgating, honking or cutting people off, but by yelling at the drivers (with my windows up.. I AM a recovering conflict weenie after all) for the minor things that irritate me.

If your day has gone to hell in a gilded handbasket even before you make it to the office DO SOMETHING about it before you inflict it on everyone you work with. Remember that it's not the fault of your coworkers it you partied into the night and are coming in hung over, if your kid puked on you just before you left the house or if you found the cornflake box empty when it was time for breakfast. Whatever it takes to adjust your attitude DO IT.

I promise, you're day will improve if you make an effort.. and your coworkers will be infinitely grateful!

The Point

Someone asked me the other day: "What's the point of blogging?"
My answer: "There is no spoon, I mean point."

Seriously, this isn't my diary (I do THAT at another site..LOL). I don't have any particular topic that this blathering centers around. I write here for two reasons.. I like to write, and I like to share my thoughts.

Sadly, I truly AM a recovering conflict weenie. I have had issues in the past with what people think of me. It's a daily struggle to let go of that. Life is too short to let your journey be derailed by people who don't know you well enough for you to allow their opinion to matter right?

Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself.

It's human nature for us to judge, glass houses be damned we ALL throw rocks. Even the most Godly person you know is going to have those moments- it is not a response that we are programmed to recognize- and I'm glad. Do we all want to be the same? I know I don't want to be a cookie cutter version of anyone I know.

My general credo in the last few years has been this: "If you're not having fun in life you are doing something wrong". Moving into my mid forties I notice a number of people walk around every day as though there is something rotten perched under their noses. Is it really so very difficult to look at people and smile? I once had a woman go so far as to make a snotty remark to me, to the effect of what are YOU smiling about? C'mon.. someone pissing on your Cheerios doesn't give you carte blanche to trample my mood like Godzilla in Tokyo!

Anyway, now that I've digressed, I'll wrap this up. THERE IS NO POINT TO THIS BLOG.
My meanderings, that's it.

Starbuck Speak

Someone shared with me today the news about the most recent addition at Starbucks.. a 31 ounce beverage cup that will be used for cold drinks- they will call it Trenta. Some have wondered why they chose that over the more correct trentuno.

I know why... think about it.. Starbucks sizes:

Grande
Tall
Vente
Trenta

ALL of those, with the exception of Tall have TWO SYLLABLES.
This makes me think that Trenta is a marketing choice rather than staying with Italian words for sizing. Though why they haven't found a version for Tall is beyond me. Perhaps to not totally turn off Americans who don't like to see all Italian?

The world may never know!

Pissitude

We all have things that push our buttons. Things that piss us off for no concrete reason- they JUST DO.

For me many of them stem from things that I consider common courtesy. People who insist on yelling a customer service reps for example. Having worked in customer service for many years I know without a doubt that yelling at the poor soul who happened to greet you, or answer the phone is almost NEVER the way to get your problem resolved.

No one deserves to be made a target, IMHO people who make minimum wage deserve it even less.

I also find that I have a complete incapacity to understand one human being acting rudely towards another in a general social setting. Interpersonal relationships are going to have situations that encourage it, but to scowl at someone who smiles at you and wishes you good morning, to walk around your place of business looking like there is a fresh turd under your nose, to ignore simple courtesies like saying please and thank you- these are concrete proof of the erosion of our society.

Are there bigger things to worry about? Of course there are.. but won't beginning the repair of our society by starting small be easier than leap frogging to the bigger issues?

I like to think it would.

New Territory

Over the years I have seen many medical providers: doctors, nurse practicioners, physicians assistants, tehs of all kinds. One thing I have never done is see a chiropractor. That threshold will be breached today.

I have a bad shoulder. Courtesy of a work related accident in the early 90's, which was compounded by 2 fender benders in following years. I'm used to having trouble when the weather turns cold, and when there is a storm coming. The shoulder tenses up. It's always been just the shoulder.

Within the past few weeks I've been noting an ache in on of my wrists. Since I type for a living, my initial panic was that it may be carpal tunnel syndrome. However after talking with a few folks about it, and doing bit of research I've learned that it may well be related to my shoulder.

I debated going to my boss as starting the process of having it checked out as a work related injury, and that might still happen- however words cannot express how less than thrilled I am at the prospect of a doctors visit, the use of a wrist brace, potential nerve conduction studies and even surgery. So before I jump off THAT cliff I am going to try the chiro.

The bald assed truth is that I'm not sure I believe in the 'science' of chiropractic medicine- though techniques and regulation of the industry have come a long way. From an intellectual standpoint, I realized I have been closed minded about something that helps many people and MANY help me. Whether there is any truth to this, will come to pass. Perhaps I've simply met the people who think that it's normal to go to the chiropractor every time you have an ache and I don't want to become one of those.

I know myself well enough to be certain that isn't going to happen.

Holy Magic Act Batman!

I cannot freaking BELIEVE I started this blog then forgot about it! A lot has gone down since that last post.. but at the end of the human wash cycle.. all is clean and fresh, but not quite new.

Biggest epiphany for me though is being diagnosed with ADHD and dealing with the fallout. From the 'Eureka' moments, when the pieces fall into place when I consider my past history.. to dealing with the naysayers who refuse to believe that I managed to go 40 odd years without anyone figuring it out. I think what burns my ass the most is knowing I'm being judged by people who have never dealt with any kind of medical or emotional(read mental) condition in their lives. People who are utterly convinced that because THEY have never experienced something that it can't possibly be real, and anyone telling you about their experiences is obviously gullible, or stupid or looking for an excuse for being simply fucked up.

I can say this however, I truly AM thankful they my brain is hardwired a little differently than most humans. It is this anomaly that allows for my quirky sense of humor and my innate ability to see things from a different angle.

I am what I am. The crux of this leg of my life's journey is to let go of the incessant worry about what other people are thinking. Despite the way society hones on how we should be like everyone else, the fact is that being willing to color outside the lines and accept ourselves as we are with no apologies is the prize we should all be seeking.