Can It Be? No it can't. Really? Well, maybe.

I'm sliding again. To the realm of not posting as much as I want to. The title of this post is me having a conversation with myself. Something I used to think was tremendously asinine, but I have since changed my view since sometimes the conversations I have with myself are the ONLY coherent ones going on at the moment.

It's that time of year. My birthday. I've long held that age is merely a number. As you've all ready before I may be growing older but I refuse to grow up. A more recently defined mantra for me is that only you have control of what you make of your life. If you're stuck in a boring, routine rut- if you've given in to the societal push that says if you aren't (insert any one or all of the following: married, a homeowner, a parent, involved in your church or civic groups yadda yadda) by a certain age you aren't 'grown up'- and you hate it.. it's YOUR FAULT and up to you to make some change.

I suppose a more direct, less politically correct (acceptable) and a more vulgar condensed version of this is: FUCK THE STATUS QUO.

Still fall becomes a time of introspection for me. This year I marvel at the fact that at my age, my dearly departed mother had two grown children, and one grandchild. My path being quite different, no kids involved (unless you count me, my husband and our two cats as we're stuck in teen mode most times). Someone said to me awhile back (in a classic 'Bingo' for the childfree)- so who will take care of you when you get old? I just blinked at them, and laughed it off as I knew it wasn't meant to be accusatory or offensive.

I guess I like to think much as I like to live.. in a dream world.. figuring (but not betting money) that perhaps (in a perfect world) all the money I've paid in taxes over the years to help support schools and other child oriented programs will come to bear in helping me and my hubby afford assisted living.

Yeah, it's a laugh riot isn't it? So, instead I just take thoughts like that like I do most other things that aren't worth borrowing trouble over.. I just shake my head and move on to the next topic on the Lazy Susan of my mind.

Wine, Cheese, Trees.. things that get better, bigger and more impressive with age? Bah. I don't give a rats ass about being impressive. I just want to be happy, healthy and know that the people I share my life with are near because they care, and for no other (material) reason.

To borrow from my muse The Bloggess (http:www.thebloggess.com): The Best Kind of Fucked Up.. that's what I want to be! Happy Unbirthday everyone!