Double Vision

Time for a trip down one of my cranial pathways. Sit back and relax a bit as I ramble (not rant.. believe me, my rants are not something you want to read- I tend to write them, go away, read them, go away, come back and delete them. Mt Vesuvius is a molten pimple compared to my flash fueled anger and I learned long ago that it's not good to to expose people to that explosive branch of my psyche) about being childfree in the workplace.

A few basic points that have been bandied about ad nauseum:
1. 'Preferential' treatment for parents.
I don't agree that the avenues offered to parents in the workplace are a true perk. In my mind the flexibility they are given is a necessary evil. Kids, like pets, need attention, they need the support of their parents, and they can't be left uncared for, or in the care of others under certain circumstances. The School Nurse shouldn't have to care for a puking kid until the work day ends. A day care provider shouldn't expose other kids in their care to a communicable disease. This concept often wars with my thoughts on how SOME parents make 'babysitters' of things that should not be utilized in that fashion. IE: Libraries, Television, Computers, and endless activities. By all means, if you are going to a movie that your child is too young to attend by themselves, GET A BABYSITTER. If you are going to an event that will last well beyond your child's usual bedtime, GET A BABYSITTER.

However if your child is ill to the point that they are contagious to others, if they are projecting bodily fluid from an orifice - stay home with them! Go get them and take them home if the school or the daycare provider call. If you have another option, a relative or friend who is available and willing to care for them- and you are comfortable with that concept, sure.. stay at work.

Though, like the childfree spectrum, the parental spectrum offers both thoughtful and considerate parents, and those who will use any possible excuse to get away from work, up to exaggerating symptoms.

In my employment history I have experienced a variety of supervisor/manager/boss types. Some who WERE blatantly biased toward parents, and some who were (and are) willing to consider individual needs versus 'do they have kids or not?'.

2. Not EVERYONE in your workplace is willing to worship your children or your pregnancy- nor do they want to be bombarded with anecdotes, photos or refrigerator artwork. Not EVERYONE want to attend baby showers or buy from fundraisers.

I take almost everything my personal sphere if childfreedom in a case by case basis. Hypocritically I am often willing to give a little more slack to people I know and people I interact with on a regular basis. OFTEN but not always. At work I am forced to keep my feelings much closer to my chest- there is nothing at all to be gained by allowing my feelings to be used against me. So while I'll often grumble, you'll never see any grandstanding.

Were I given the chance to dictate, it would be such that your 'parental status' is never a card you can play to get special treatment at work. Or, on the other side... make it so that I can take time of in the name of my pet- for appointments and illness.. just like I would if I had to take a child to the doctor, or take time off while they recover from surgery. In short, let's eliminate the double standard.